But this is not New Orleans. This is Minnesota. And my new life (okay, not really new...I've been here 4 years) consists of a lot of waiting. Waiting for the snow to melt. Waiting for the wind to stop howling. Waiting for the thermometer to get into a reasonable range of comfort. Waiting for...spring. Or what I knew of spring. Spring here is messy. And cold. And wet. I am slowly coming to understand that really, what I am waiting for is summer. Because spring in Minnesota does not register as one of the seasons I enjoy. So I am waiting for consistent temperatures above 75 degrees. Which may or may not arrive in June. And then, we may get a heat wave...with temperatures in the 90's..for a week or two....and then poof! Its gone. My waiting all year....for a few glorious weeks of weather. (admittedly, the summers in Minnesota are quite beautiful, but I feel like we get a raw deal. 5 months of snow and ice for a few weeks of warmth? Something's not quite right about that.)
So, I am a southern girl. There is no way around it. I have purchased about 10 pairs of gloves and mittens in 4 years, and still my hands go numb after 15 minutes of being outside in winter. I have three pairs of winter boots. More hats and scarves than can reasonably fit in our hall closet. I have those silly hand warmer things. And silk insulated underwear. I always have two ice scrapers in my car...in July. And no matter what, it still seems like I am in the wrong place....now with way too much stuff.
This is tricky. My husband is from here. He loves the winters. (Really, he says he loves the four distinct seasons...but I have only been able to identify two of them). My inability to acclimate to the weather here brings him great sadness. I hibernate for 5 months (and I am not even using this term lightly...aside from going to work, I pretty much do not leave the house for 5 months...I even have my groceries delivered). I would say though, that this winter was the first one where I really just threw my hands in the air and gave up. I had tried for four years to find some enjoyment in winter. Sure, I complained. A LOT. But I still made efforts to find beauty in fresh-fallen snow. I tried to get outside for a walk. But when the thermometer plummets to minus 25 degrees, well...I can't do it. And so, my husband has to live with my unhappiness. I recognize that this is unfair. It's unfair to both of us.
So the discussions have begun again. Should we move south. Or, rather...I NEED to move south. For the sake of my sanity. I know that he doesn't find enjoyment in heat the way I do. So we are seeking a compromise. Now, there are reasons beyond climate that I want to move back south. Family, friends, way of life. And those are reasons for him to want to stay here. And his reasons are valid. And important. So he is not jumping at the idea of packing our stuff and moving. Understandably so. I mean, he sees my unhappiness, and I am sure he is thinking to himself, "If we move, is that going to be me?".
As of right now, we have no answer beyond the recognition that there must be some form of change. We love each other very deeply, so going our separate ways is not even in the conversation. Instead, we are researching. Using this as an opportunity to say, "Hey...let's find a place for both of us." Is it out there? Who the hell knows. But the fact that the conversation has started has lifted my spirits considerably. We'll just have to see where the conversation takes us.
2 comments:
Philadelphia is your answer! The winters are cold and miserable (which your hubby should enjoy) and the summers are hot and humid (which you're accustomed to). And in the mid-atlantic region we have the most beautiful autumn. Although, i also don't care for the ickiness of spring.
Check out NC-the Ashville area. 4 seasons, progressive place, southern laidbackness. I would move there!
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